Does Your Child Have Confidence?

"The greatest thing you can give a child is confidence."

The Positive Parent | By Jamare Harris

A child's confidence is something that I think a lot of us don't really take into consideration as we bear witness to our child(ren) attempting to be the boss and over exert their independence at home. But I challenge you to take a close look at how your child(ren) are interacting outside of the home in spaces where they may not be the alpha. We can often confuse these types of personalities with confidence. Your child may be strong willed but that does not necessarily mean that they are confident or sure of themself.

I spent many years helping to build confidence in young children in the classroom, where they are practicing their independence outside of their parent's watchful eyes. Learning to stick up for yourself, using your words, and communicating your needs are fundamental for a child's development. It may be easy for them to display these pieces at home where they feel safe. But does it carry over to school? A family member's house? Or extracurricular activities? Our children test boundaries where they feel the safest, which is typically at home.

I challenge you to think about your approach when teaching your child(ren) how to remain confident outside of the home. Building confidence in young children can look like many things, from big chores and responsibilities to role-playing. I know that it may sound silly, but role-playing is a really effective way to learn a new skill because it provides practice. Giving your child(ren) big chores and responsibilities is communicating to them that you trust them.

Another way to build confidence is to watch how you speak and conduct yourself; children take their cues from their parents. While none of us are perfect, we have to put forth the effort to be good examples for them. Asking children what they think instead of telling them what they think is also another way to build a foundation of confidence for your child(ren). If they're never allowed to have an independent thought with you, how do you expect them to have an independent thought without you? Give your child(ren) opportunities to be confident. This way, as they grow, they will make decisions based on their own ideas and thoughts versus the ideas and thoughts of others.

Your Presence is a Present

“Children don’t need a perfect parent; they need a present one”

The Positive Parent | By: Jamare Harris

Think back to when you were a child. What do you remember most about your childhood? Although my memory can be fuzzy, what I can remember is how I felt. How my friends made me feel, and certainly how my parents made me feel. I know that the majority of us strive to be good people and even better parents. We want to give our child(ren) the things we never had and undo all of the “bad” things that our parents did. We pride ourselves on throwing the best birthday parties, the amount of presents under the tree at Christmas and the constant busyness of our fun-filled weekend. But we are forgetting the most imperative piece as parents. We are forgetting to show up for our children. We are forgetting to be present. I don’t remember my gifts, my parties or my fun-filled weekends. I do however remember how I felt during those experiences, the lessons, the talks, the energy, the attention or lack thereof. I remember conversations around the dinner table and the fact that we listened to jazz while eating and how it made me feel. I also remember the void from an absent parent- the lack of presence. Your child(ren) feels all of this.

In the same breath, I am not here to say that rewards are all bad. Or that we shouldn’t throw parties and enjoy life. I am saying; slow down. What we are trying to accomplish is giving our children the life that we didn’t have or a better one. Trust me, I totally understand (which is why my child has only attended private schools lol). However, I would charge you to take a good look at the quality time that you are or are not spending with your child(ren). What could you be doing differently to make connections with them? Mentally, physically, spiritually are you showing up for them? Or, are you just being a false representation of a “good parent” by showering them with things...

After spending years in education, and being a mom myself, I can tell you wholeheartedly that you are enough for your child(ren). After a whole day with my child, she still just wants to cuddle and talk. She just wants my attention, my love, my presence. You will always be the only gift that they need. They will remember the time spent, not the money. And that is priceless...

Until next time, stay positive, parents!

Back to School Hustle!

Intelligence plus character-that is the true goal of education.” -Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

The Positive Message | By: Jamare Harris

I know that we all may be in a rush to hand our kids over to school and schedules, but I want to challenge

you to not lose what we have developed and learned during this time. Your child’s first teacher will always be their home environment. Regardless of what they learn at school, you are who they trust the most and look to for life lessons which supersede classroom lessons.

Let’s pause and remember our experiences over the past year and a half. Peace gets lost in busy-ness, particularly for children because as parents, we don’t always consider their input nor their feelings. I totally understand that we all are returning to work while having to adjust. I get that. But I encourage you all to not forget how important time is. This pandemic has tragically taught us that we must slow down and enjoy life, now...not later.

Remember to create special time with your children now that they’re back at school. Whether it’s a nightly bedtime story, a planned monthly date or involving them in cooking dinner or making lunches. Don’t lose connection with your child(ren) now that they are back at school. Let home always be where they learn the most important lessons.

Until next time, stay positive, parents!